On Butchood and Onions
It begins with a laceration knife to onion, onion to knife slipping on sunglasses
to keep the tears from staining my blouse— or should I say button-up? You see,
I’ve always cut gender with a dull knife. Never had clean slit, unable to work a pear into
hatched pieces, let alone my own body I’m unfamiliar with its slices. My hands: butter knives.
My curves: serrated edges forever littering valleyed marks into the things I want to preserve:
fruit jellies, pickled leeks threaded jacket collars pressed thick with calendula, I guess it's
a dice roll. Maybe instead of glasses I should have chosen snake eyes a fixed point. A
single dot. Something to hold and capture in the meat of my palm but I still
don’t know what that says about gender. Or onions for that matter. Because I’m sure there’s a
space between Woman and Onion where I could settle: a gap-toothed dimension all dull
knives, mangled edges and the jeans I stole from the Old Navy Men’s Section. A space
that allows for days when I’m more Woman than Onion and days when I’m only a bulb
and green shoots. Knowing that when I’m Onion all I need to fear are the kitchen
knives and when I’m Woman, all I need to fear is the sharp edge of a man’s mouth.
I balance this dichotomy and the Onion in one hand. Carve away the rind. Scoop the peels in a
basket. Remember what my grandmother taught me about silencing: hushing babies,
honey lozenges, tissue and sap for the pit of my ears. Last year I cut off my own lips. Hung them
to dry above the kitchen fan. And my fingers recall the practice. The careful cutting
board. The red handle of the scissors. So when I say I am Onion, all you need to fear are
the tears on your shirt collar. And when I say I am Woman, all you need to fear is me.
Natchez - C.R. Resetarits
C. R. Resetarits is a writer and visual artist. Her art and collages have appeared in dozens of literary magazines, including the current covers of The Florida Review and Falling Star. She lives in Oxford, Mississippi.
Callan Foster is a high school librarian passionate about queer lit, education, and the color orange. She lives on an island near Seattle with her cat, Ralph.